Surviving Lung Cancer
Survivor Profile:
Bob Nuber on “making the most out of each day”
Like many cancer survivors, Bob Nuber sees every day as a gift.
But this month, he’s celebrating something that puts an extra-special spin on that gift of time: His first wedding anniversary.
“It takes a special kind of person to marry someone who has stage-four lung cancer,” Nuber, 56, says of wife Debbie. The couple had been dating about six months when he was diagnosed in the fall of 2009.
“We had become very involved, and when I found out I had cancer, it was very difficult to have to deal with that in our relationship,” says Nuber.
The Nubers live in Cayuga County, NY, more than two hours from Roswell Park, where Bob comes every three weeks for maintenance doses of chemotherapy. They’re grateful that they’ve been able to count on Hope Lodge, a guesthouse operated by the American Cancer Society. “If it wasn’t for Hope Lodge, it would have put such a financial burden on us,” Bob says.
And as the weeks wind down to RPCI’s Cancer Survivors Day celebration on June 12, this former Onondaga County Sheriff’s Deputy and war veteran has his sights set on all the tomorrows he’ll spend with Debbie and their family — five children between them.
“I’m all about positive, all about positive reinforcement. I’m a firm believer in the fact that cancer is not a death sentence. Cancer is an inconvenience that can be overcome with the right help.”
Q. How long have you been living with cancer?
A. Since September 2009. I have metastatic adenocarcinoma of the lung — I’ve been stage four since I was diagnosed.
My first oncologist told me I had seven months to live. It was the most devastating 45 minutes I’ve ever spent in my life. When I came home, I didn’t know what to say. Debbie was of course crying, and I said, “I’m not going for this. I’m not accepting the fact that I have seven months.” I said, “I want a second opinion. I want to go to Roswell.”
Debbie calls Roswell Park, and one of the supervisors happened to answer the phone. She took what that 45 minutes with the first oncologist did, turned it around and took the weight off that weekend so we could get through it. She made us feel so in control in such an out-of-control situation.
Q. What have you learned from cancer?
A. It gives you perspective on what is important in life and what isn’t; it changes your whole outlook. It gave me a reality check. The things you took for granted aren’t there — am I going to see my grandchildren walk down the aisle? How long do I have?
I had a strong religious belief before, and it’s only stronger now. I have a feeling that there’s a purpose for this — I’m here for a reason, and I got cancer for a reason. I think there’s a purpose for this, but I just haven’t figured it out yet.
Q. Was there any good that came from it, any silver lining?
A. It made me appreciate things a lot more, made me less lackadaisical, more appreciative in living — making the most out of each day.
Q. What’s your message for anyone newly diagnosed with cancer?
A. It’s not over ’til the fat lady sings. Three things will get you through this: Faith in God, hope and a positive outlook.
Q. What keeps you hopeful?
A. I see the work and the research that’s being done into cancer. There are new drugs every day, and I see people that have gone into remission, people that have become stable.
The hopefulness is that they will find some medication or treatment that will allow me to have a somewhat normal life. It’s faith in God, faith in my family, faith in myself.
Q. Will you be celebrating Cancer Survivors Day with RPCI — or in any other way?
A. Yes. I was there last year and I’ll be coming back to this year’s event.
I’ve become very involved with Roswell Park. I go up there every three weeks for a maintenance dose of chemo. I see so many faces of people who are sick, and the people of Roswell Park, they make you feel like you don’t have cancer. They make you feel like you’re normal, like you have a chance. It’s an amazing place.
Q. Describe your perfect day, from start to finish.
A. Just getting up and being able to do the things I want to do and live my life. I fish, I bought a boat, I sail, I horseback ride, hunt, go camping, do woodworking. I’m a Chief in the U.S. Navy — I’m very involved with teaching for that and I have a group of guys that I’m responsible for. That gives me a lot of satisfaction.
For more information about Cancer Survivors Day on June 12 or to register, go to http://www.roswellpark.org/survivorsday or call 1-877-ASK-RPCI (1-877-275-7724). Registrations will be taken through June 1.
Mr. Nuber was also featured in a news report about the Tree of Hope.
Listen to more about Mr. Nuber's story and about second opinions on Roswellness Radio.
